The Quran repeatedly calls people toward “Ibrah” (lessons and reflection).
The word “عبرة” itself appears multiple times in the Quran, and many other verses deliver the same message through different words:

• Learn from what happened before you.
• Do not become like those people.
• There are signs for those who reflect.
• Travel through the earth and observe what happened to earlier nations.

Why is this message repeated so much?

First Reason

Because Allah’s judgment is real.

The Day of Judgment will happen, and every human being will be held accountable for their actions. The Quran reminds people that history is not meaningless; the rise and fall of nations are warnings for humanity.

Second Reason

If a person understands a sign according to the problems of his own time and society, then he should use that understanding to protect others as well.

This may sound difficult, so we can understand it through science.

Interesting Fact About Crows:

 “Danger Memory Zones”

Crows are highly intelligent birds that remember danger linked to death. When they find a dead crow, they often avoid that area because it signals possible threats like predators or poisoning. This behavior is survival learning.

Studies suggest they may avoid such locations for weeks or even months depending on the danger level. They may also avoid a surrounding radius instead of only one exact spot.

This helps them survive by remembering dangerous places and learning from warning signs.

What Can Humans Learn From This?

In daily life, humans also witness many events that become signs and warnings.

Sometimes a person commits ظلم, cheating, theft, or corruption and quickly faces consequences. Such events can become reminders and lessons for society.

Similarly, the Quran mentions many destroyed nations. In several places, Allah does not always focus on names, but on the lesson behind what happened to them.

This teaches that warnings should sometimes be shared without exposing people’s identities unnecessarily, so that:

• gossip is avoided,
• dignity is protected,
• but the lesson still reaches others.

In the same way, The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ warned people not to casually enter places where Allah’s punishment descended upon earlier nations.

لَا تَدْخُلُوا عَلَى هَؤُلَاءِ الْقَوْمِ الْمُعَذَّبِينَ إِلَّا أَنْ تَكُونُوا بَاكِينَ، فَإِنْ لَمْ تَكُونُوا بَاكِينَ فَلَا تَدْخُلُوا عَلَيْهِمْ، أَنْ يُصِيبَكُمْ مَا أَصَابَهُمْ

“Do not enter upon these people who are being punished unless you are weeping. If you are not weeping, then do not enter upon them, lest what befell them should befall you.”

 Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari 433, Sahih Muslim 2980a

If you reflect deeply on the Hadith, it says to enter the place while weeping. The wisdom behind this is that when people see you crying, they ask the reason — not assume that you are going there as if for a picnic. This reflects the same kind of behavior observed in Crows.

Important Balance

However, it is important not to assume that every hardship faced by someone is definitely Allah’s punishment. Sometimes difficulties are:

• tests,
• consequences of human actions,
• or trials through which Allah raises a person’s status.

The Quran encourages reflection and humility, not judging specific individuals with certainty 

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Anas ibn Malik narrated that The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:

 لَا يُؤْمِنُ أَحَدُكُمْ حَتَّى يُحِبَّ لِأَخِيهِ مَا يُحِبُّ لِنَفْسِهِ

“None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.”

Reference 

Sahih al-Bukhari (Hadith 13) 

Sahih Muslim (Hadith 45).

The Common Understanding VS

 The Deeper Reality

This is one of the most famous hadiths in Islam. It is often understood as: if you desire something good for yourself, you should also wish it for others so that love, sincerity, and fairness remain between people.

This understanding is correct.

It teaches that wishing well for others is a core part of faith. If we want respect, honesty, and kindness from others, we must first hold the same intention for them.

But beneath this simple message lies deep human psychology.

The Inner Foundation: 

Self-Love and Emotional State

Psychologically, a person cannot pour from an empty cup. Someone filled with insecurity, self-hate, or inner chaos struggles to sincerely wish good for others. Such emotions often lead to projection—where inner pain is reflected outward.

So this hadith also points to an inner requirement: true brotherhood needs a heart that is stable, sincere, and content with Allah’s decree. Only then can a person genuinely wish good for others without jealousy or comparison.

Faith Is Tested in Difficulty

These values are easy during comfort. People appear kind, calm, and sincere when life is smooth.

But the real test begins in hardship.

When jealousy, anger, or insecurity arises, many forget this hadith. Backbiting starts, harsh words appear, or a person may even feel silent satisfaction at someone else’s failure.

Then if roles reverse and they experience the same harm, they ask:

 “Why did you do that to me?”

But the deeper question should be:

Why did I do it first?

Why am I jealous?

What triggered my anger?

What insecurity is inside me?

Is my reaction truly justified?

The Psychology of Reaction and Accountability

Sometimes we are hurt first, but Islam still teaches pause and reflection before reaction.

Not every emotional response is justified simply because we feel hurt. Faith demands self-awareness, emotional control, and responsibility before blaming others. That is why this hadith is not only about kindness, but also about controlling the ego (nafs).

The Real Test of Iman

The test of iman is not in ease, but in emotional struggle.

Loving good for others when life is easy is simple. But loving good for others while dealing with anger, jealousy, ego, or personal pain is the real challenge.

And this struggle always begins within. A believer constantly examines their heart, questions their emotions, and corrects their intentions before judging others. 

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What Is Sabr ?

Many people have explained Sabr in different ways, and one common question is:

“Is Sabr passive waiting or active striving?”

We can understand this through science and real-life examples.

Example No. 1 

Pigeons and Aurora Lights

Homing pigeons partly rely on Earth’s magnetic field to navigate.

During auroras, charged solar particles create geomagnetic storms that disturb this magnetic field, confusing the pigeons’ internal compass. Research shows that during strong geomagnetic activity, pigeons may become disoriented, take longer routes, and return home more slowly.

However, their navigation system is not completely disabled because they can still rely on landmarks and memory to eventually find their way home.

What do we learn from this example?

The pigeons do not completely lose their navigation system, and they still return home — just more slowly.

Similarly, when difficulties come into our lives, do we completely lose all our abilities?

Of course not.

Sometimes slowing down is simply part of the process.

This is why the Quran says:

 Surah Al-Baqarah (2:45)

Arabic:

 وَاسْتَعِينُوا بِالصَّبْرِ وَالصَّلَاةِ

 “Seek help through patience and prayer.”

In this case, Sabr appears as active striving because the pigeons do not stop flying, nor do they sit and wait for the magnetic field to become normal again.

Example No. 2 

 The Rope During a Flood

You may have often seen situations during floods where a person is being carried away by powerful water currents.

At that moment, there may be almost nothing they can do to save themselves until someone throws them a rope.

But even after the rope is thrown, survival still depends on the person using all their remaining strength to hold onto it tightly.

The Quran says:

 Surah Aal-e-Imran (3:103)

Arabic:

 وَاعْتَصِمُوا بِحَبْلِ اللَّهِ جَمِيعًا وَلَا تَفَرَّقُوا

“And hold firmly to the rope of Allah all together and do not become divided.”

In this example, Sabr appears as both active striving and passive waiting:

the struggle to catch and hold the rope is active effort,

while trust in rescue and waiting for safety reflects reliance upon Allah.

Example No. 3 

 Car Crash in the Mountains

A person goes on a trip to the mountains. While returning at night, his car falls into a deep ravine, and he gets injured. There is no one around to hear or see him. In such a situation, what would happen?

At that point, what can a person do besides pray, hope, and wait?

Here, Sabr appears in the form of passive waiting.

Allah says:

Surah Al-Baqarah (2:153)

Arabic:

 إِنَّ اللَّهَ مَعَ الصَّابِرِينَ

 “Indeed, Allah is with the patient.”

In such situations, Sabr becomes complete trust in Allah while enduring what is beyond human control.

Final Reflection 

From these examples, Sabr is not just passive waiting, nor is it only action.

Sometimes Sabr means continuing to move forward despite confusion.

Sometimes it means holding tightly during hardship.

And sometimes it means peacefully enduring what cannot be controlled while placing complete trust in Allah.

Sabr is not the absence of struggle.

Sabr is how you carry yourself through the struggle.

Sabr is complete trust in Allah.

In today’s world, maintaining balance has become extremely difficult.

As Muslims, people have to maintain balance in many areas of life:

Maintaining religion while also fulfilling worldly responsibilities

Keeping the outer self and inner self aligned

Staying spiritually connected while dealing with modern pressures

But in this new generation, a confusion has started to appear. Many people think that if sinful actions and good deeds become “balanced,” then life itself becomes balanced. But this is not true balance.

This confusion often comes because whenever people talk about the balance of the universe, examples are given such as:

Day and night

Good and evil

Flowers and thorns

These things appear to “balance” each other, yet they are completely opposite to one another. So some people begin to think that mixing righteousness and sin equally may also create balance in life.

But this is only an illusion.

Because in the Quran, Allah says:

— Surah Al-Baqarah 2:208

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا ادْخُلُوا فِي السِّلْمِ كَافَّةً

“O you who believe! Enter into Islam completely (fully).”

So then, What Does Balance Mean in Islam?

Let us understand it through nature.

The Sun, Moon, and Stars Analogy

During the day, the sun shines brightly.

Then night comes, and the moon and stars appear.

And even when the moon is absent, the stars still remain.

From this, we learn that balance means:

When circumstances are in your favor, shine like the sun.

And when circumstances are not fully in your favor, then become like the moon — even if you cannot guide people with the brightness of the full day, you can still help show the way.

And if conditions become even more difficult, and your light becomes small like the stars, then even that small light can still give hope that darkness is not complete.

Because the one who cannot survive difficult times can never become a great light later.

This is balance in Islam.

Allah says in the Quran:

— Surah Al-Baqarah 2:286

لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا

“Allah does not burden a soul beyond what it can bear.”

Balance means using your given capacity in the best possible way without overburdening yourself.

That is why, even if life becomes extremely difficult, Squeeze your lifestyle and simplify it, Adjust yourself according to your situation and still keep good hope in Allah. If it feels very difficult, then still… keep holding onto at least one prayer so your light remains alive and your balance does not completely disappear.

Islam gives great importance to truthfulness. The Prophet ﷺ repeatedly encouraged people to speak the truth, and the Quran also calls believers toward honesty and sincerity.

Allah says:

— Surah At-Tawbah 9:119

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَكُونُوا مَعَ الصَّادِقِينَ

“O you who believe! Fear Allah and be with those who are truthful.”

At the same time, the Quran strongly condemns lying:

— Surah Aal-e-Imran 3:61

فَنَجْعَل لَّعْنَتَ اللَّهِ عَلَى الْكَاذِبِينَ

“And invoke the curse of Allah upon the liars.”

 Deeper meaning

Now if we reflect on the psychology behind this, can a dishonest person ever feel truly confident?

Of course not.

Because deep inside, a liar knows that at any moment their reality can be exposed. They live with the fear of being unmasked. That hidden fear slowly destroys inner confidence.

True confidence comes from inner purity and sincerity. When a person becomes truthful, they stop carrying the burden of fake personalities and false images. This is why real confidence is not created through pretending or acting confident.

Real confidence begins with truth

Even worship gives peace only when a person sincerely surrenders to Allah.

That is why the best way to build self-confidence in Islam is not to fake confidence, but to become truthful with Allah, with people, and with yourself.

When you start speaking the truth, you naturally begin seeing your flaws honestly, and this helps you improve yourself without living in denial.

This was the character of our beloved Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. He spoke calmly, gently, and truthfully. His honesty itself became a source of dignity, peace, and strength.

Allah says:

— Surah Aal-e-Imran 3:139

وَلَا تَهِنُوا وَلَا تَحْزَنُوا وَأَنتُمُ الْأَعْلَوْنَ إِن كُنتُم مُّؤْمِنِينَ

“Do not lose heart nor fall into despair, for you will be superior if you are true believers.”

If we reflect deeply on this verse, Allah is pointing toward inner self-reflection. If your faith is sincere and truthful, then you should not live with weakness and inferiority.

Why?

Because Allah supports those who are sincere and truthful.

The Quran also says:

— Surah Yunus 10:62

أَلَا إِنَّ أَوْلِيَاءَ اللَّهِ لَا خَوْفٌ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلَا هُمْ يَحْزَنُونَ

“Indeed, the friends of Allah will have no fear, nor will they grieve.”

Why will they have no fear?

Because they are free from inner hypocrisy, fake identities, and spiritual emptiness. Their worth is not dependent on material status, social validation, or worldly appearance.

Allah removes fear from the hearts of those who sincerely trust Him.

So if a person is truthful, sincere, free from inner complexes, and fully accepts the life Allah has given them, can such a person truly remain underconfident?

The answer lies within yourself.

The Prophet ﷺ said:

“Allah dislikes for you useless talk, asking too many unnecessary questions, and wasting wealth.”

Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari 2408

Why is Loose Talk disliked?

The Prophet ﷺ also said:

“Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak what is good or remain silent.”

References: Sahih al-Bukhari 6136 Sahih Muslim 47

These teachings are not only about manners and etiquette; they also protect the human mind, heart, relationships, and society.

The Psychological Effect of Words

According to psychology and neuroscience, a person’s words are often an outward reflection of their thoughts, emotions, habits, and subconscious patterns. Repeated speech gradually shapes mindset, behavior, emotional reactions, and even decision-making.

Negative, useless, and careless speech can slowly normalize negativity within the mind and spread it to others. Similarly, good words can calm hearts, strengthen relationships, and positively influence both the speaker and the listener.

This is why Islam places such importance on speech.

Lessons From the Life of the Prophet ﷺ

One of the greatest examples of controlling speech and emotions can be seen in the incident of Ta’if.

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ traveled to Ta’if to invite its people toward Islam. Instead of listening, they  turned children and crowds against him. They threw stones at him until he was severely injured and his blessed shoes were filled with blood.

At that painful moment, Jibreel عليه السلام came to the Prophet ﷺ along with the Angel of the Mountains. Jibreel عليه السلام informed him that the Angel was waiting for his command.

The Angel said:

“If you wish, I will crush them between the two mountains.”

But the Prophet ﷺ chose mercy instead of revenge and replied:

“No, I hope that Allah will bring from their descendants people who will worship Allah alone and not associate anything with Him.”

In some narrations and books of Seerah, the following supplication is also mentioned:

“O Allah, guide my people, for they do not know.”

Authentic References: Sahih al-Bukhari 7389 Sahih Muslim 1795

The Prophet ﷺ did not respond with abusive words, hatred, or revenge. Instead, he responded with patience, mercy, wisdom, and sincere concern for humanity.

An Important Warning 

The Prophet ﷺ also said:

“When Allah intends good for His servant, He hastens punishment for him in this world. And when Allah intends evil for His servant, He withholds punishment for his sins until he comes with them on the Day of Judgment.”

Reference: Jami` at-Tirmidhi 2396

This is why a believer should remain careful about words, intentions, and actions.

Allah says:

Surah Qaf (50:18)

مَّا يَلْفِظُ مِن قَوْلٍ إِلَّا لَدَيْهِ رَقِيبٌ عَتِيدٌ 

“Not a word does a person utter except that there is with him an observer ready to record it.”

And Allah says:

Surah Al-Isra (17:36)

وَلَا تَقْفُ مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ 

“And do not follow that of which you have no knowledge.”

And:

Surah Al-Baqarah (2:83)

وَقُولُوا لِلنَّاسِ حُسْنًا

“And speak to people good words.”

Because good words are never meaningless.

Allah says:

Surah Ibrahim (14:24–25)

Final Reflection 

Speaking less does not mean suppressing your emotions or remaining silent about your pain. Islam does not teach emotional emptiness. Rather, it teaches believers to avoid useless, harmful, false, and destructive speech.

Speak good when you can. Remain silent when speech brings harm. And when your heart feels heavy, speak to Allah sincerely with patience, humility, and proper etiquette.

No word is lost before Allah, and no sincere call goes unheard.