You may have heard many times that self-reflection really helps a person understand his problems.

But what actually is the process of self-reflection?

There are many religions in this world, and the way of practicing self-reflection may be different in each one. But what is its main objective?

To know yourself.

To ask yourself:

“Who am I?”

And after searching for the answers to your questions, to correct yourself, improve yourself, and fix—or even eliminate the restlessness and disorder within you.

That is why today, we will look at self-reflection from an Islamic perspective.

But what is the first thing necessary for self-reflection?

Maybe you would say solitude or loneliness.

Right?

But before all of this, there is something that needs to exist within you:

A longing.

A restlessness.

A deep uneasiness.

The feeling that your heart does not feel at home in this world. That you cannot fully connect with it.

This itself shows a certain sensitivity within you.

There is something inside you that wants to resolve this restlessness. You want to understand it. You want to know why it exists.

So, mostly, when people experience this state, they are told:

“Sit alone and try to read yourself.”

But before doing that, there is another quality you need to possess:

You need to have the habit of questioning yourself.

You need to know how to compare.

You need to ask:

What is different within me compared to other people?

Why am I experiencing this restlessness while other people seem to be behaving normally?

And then another question appears:

Is this so-called “normal behavior” actually normal?

What if you are simply awake while everyone else is moving through life in a kind of sleep?

When all these questions begin to exist within you, solitude becomes beneficial.

You can sit alone and listen to your own voice.

You can ask:

What does my true self actually want?

What is negative within me?

What can I change?

And what is beyond my control?

Many people call acceptance self-reflection. But sometimes, what you are accepting is merely your trauma, not your true nature.

Your trauma may feel extremely real to you, but it does not necessarily represent your real personality.

To a great extent, trauma can be healed, but completely erasing it is not always within human control—because it exists within your memory, and memory can continue to have an effect on you.

Your reaction can change, but the memory may still force you to see the scene again when something reminds you of it.

And when this process is completed, bringing yourself toward betterment becomes easier.

Then you become capable of keeping yourself occupied when you need to, and when you find yourself alone, you can quickly regain your focus.

The journey from one dimension of yourself to another becomes easier.

It is like becoming friends with a dimension of yourself that you previously did not understand.

And this is where the Qur'an gives us a profound direction.

Allah says:

 Qur’an, Surah Ash-Sharh 94:7–8

فَإِذَا فَرَغْتَ فَانصَبْ ۝ وَإِلَىٰ رَبِّكَ فَارْغَب

“So when you have finished [your duties], then stand up for worship;

 and to your Lord direct your longing.”

The verse teaches you something important: when you become free from one task, do not simply allow your mind to wander aimlessly. Direct your attention toward Allah.

This teaches you how to focus and when to keep yourself occupied in this world, so that you can protect yourself from unnecessary mental turmoil.

And if you reflect deeply upon these verses, Allah uses the word:

رَبِّكَ  “your Lord”

This carries the meaning of a Lord who nurtures, sustains, and cares for you.

It shows that your difficulty is not unknown to Allah and that you are not outside His care.

You only need to call upon Him honestly.

But when does honesty truly emerge?

When you know your true self.

When you know what you actually need.

And this understanding can be reached through self-reflection.

But it is a very difficult process.

Why?

Because the human being is extremely complex.

And the question:

“Who am I?”

can keep many people confused for a very long time.

Perhaps this is why Bulleh Shah expressed this profound uncertainty in Punjabi:

“Ki jaana main kaun?”

“What do I know of who I am?”

And perhaps the journey of self-reflection begins exactly here—not with having all the answers, but with having the courage to honestly ask the question:

Who am I?

And then, slowly, to discover who you are, what is broken within you, what can be changed, what must be healed, and ultimately, toward Whom you were always meant to turn.

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،دل وہ جگہ ہے جہاں خواہش جڑ پکڑتی ہے

،خواہش نیت کو جنم دیتی ہے

،نیت عمل میں جان ڈالتی ہے

اور عمل سے جزا یا سزا کا پھل تیار ہوتا ہے۔

(راست)

(Raast)

“It’s My Will”  Is It Really That Simple?

We often do something, and when someone asks us about it, we simply say, “It’s my will,” and move on just to avoid explaining ourselves.

But is it really such a simple statement?

If we deeply reflect on it, another reality begins to appear before us: Can a person always claim, “It’s my will,” when their decision affects someone else?

The Prophet ﷺ said:

 “Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you will be questioned about his flock.”

 Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari 893; Sahih Muslim 1829.

Read this hadith carefully.

When a person has authority or responsibility over another person and has to make a decision concerning them, that authority does not simply give them the right to say, “It’s my will.” Rather, it places a responsibility upon them to act with justice, wisdom, and accountability.

A person cannot simply make a decision affecting someone else and then escape every question by saying, “Because I said so.”

If a decision is difficult but necessary, there should at least be a sincere reason behind it. And when appropriate, that reason should be communicated to the person who is affected by the decision.

Otherwise, “It’s my will” can become a disguise for selfishness.

So why does a person say, “It’s my will” ?

Sometimes because they begin to consider their authority a personal right over others.

They forget that authority is not ownership.

Imagine a father wants his daughter to marry someone she does not want to marry. Instead of listening to her concerns, understanding her reasons, or discussing the matter with her, he simply says:

“It will happen according to my will.”

He gives no explanation.

He does not ask why she refuses.

He does not explain the wisdom behind his decision.

He does not try to understand her feelings.

He simply relies on his position of authority.

This is no longer merely a question of making a difficult decision.

It can become an example of using power because the other person does not possess the same power to resist it.

And sometimes that pressure does not even have to be physical. It can take the form of emotional pressure, guilt, fear, or manipulation.

But then comes a much deeper question:

Will a person be able to stand before Allah on the Day of Judgment and simply say, “It was my will”?

Of course not.

Allah knows the intention behind every decision, the circumstances surrounding it, and the way we used the authority entrusted to us.

Ultimately, we are accountable.

But what should a person do when they genuinely have to make a difficult decision one that may be right, but whose wisdom they cannot explain yet?

Here, trust matters.

If you have consistently dealt with people justly, if they know that you care about their wellbeing, and if there is a genuine reason that cannot yet be revealed, you can say:

“Trust me. I cannot explain everything right now, but I promise that when the right time comes, I will explain.”

This is very different from simply saying:

“It’s my will.”

The first asks for trust.

The second can demand submission without explanation.

And when making a decision, one should keep Allah’s command before them and clearly explain that this is Allah’s command, and that no personal selfishness or self-interest is involved in the decision.

We can see an important lesson in the Treaty of Hudaybiyyah.

Some of its terms appeared, at first glance, to be extremely difficult for the Muslims. Yet the Prophet ﷺ did not turn his authority into a statement of personal ego. The believers had to exercise patience and trust Allah and His Messenger ﷺ. With time, the wisdom and tremendous benefit of the treaty became apparent.

This teaches us something important:

Not every correct decision will immediately make sense to everyone.

Sometimes a person in a position of responsibility may know something that others do not yet know.

But that does not give human beings the right to behave as though they are absolute masters over others.

We should never try to become “Allah” over another human being.

Absolute authority belongs to Allah.

A human being can request.

A human being can advise.

A human being can make decisions within the responsibility entrusted to them.

A human being can ask others to trust them.

But ultimately, we are all servants of Allah.

And sometimes the words “It’s my will”  can create confusion, resentment, and even rebelliousness especially when they are used repeatedly without justice, wisdom, or communication.

That is why the hadith “Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you will be questioned about his flock” should make us rethink the way we use our authority.

A parent should reflect on it.

A husband should reflect on it.

A leader should reflect on it.

A teacher should reflect on it.

Anyone who has responsibility over another person should reflect on it.

Because one day, the question will not simply be:

“Did you have authority?”

The deeper question will be:

“How did you use the authority that was entrusted to you?”

And on that day, “It was my will” will not be enough.

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