We have already learned in the previous article that sabr (صبر) works in different ways according to different situations. Now, according to these different situations, let us try to understand what صَبْرًا جَمِيلًا (Ṣabran Jamīlan) actually is.

The Qur’an repeatedly tells us to have patience, but alongside the command to have ṣabr, the Qur’an also speaks about ṣabran jamīlan—beautiful patience.

In some contexts, its meaning can be understood as patience itself being beautiful in that particular situation.

 But in Surah Al-Ma‘ārij, Allah says:

Qur’an 70:5

فَٱصْبِرْ صَبْرًا جَمِيلًا

“So be patient with gracious patience.

”The word “gracious” can convey the sense of being beautiful, dignified, and without complaint.

So, in the context of this verse, the translation can be understood as:

“So endure this denial, O Prophet, with beautiful patience.”

The Arabic word:

جَمِيلًا (jamīlan)

literally means “beautiful.”

But in this verse, it points toward a graceful and dignified form of patience, free from complaint or despair.

So, how can we identify this beautiful patience?

Let us temporarily leave the word ṣabr aside and focus only on the word “beautiful.”

Or, if we use the word “graceful” while keeping its other possible meanings in view, these words point us toward the concept of beauty.

But what is beauty?

Beauty has a direct relationship with a person's aesthetic sense, because beauty is subjective to people.

And here, Allah has addressed this verse to Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. Therefore, Prophet Muhammad ﷺ would exercise patience according to the standard appropriate to his own rank and strength, and that patience would be described as beautiful.

We can also look at Surah Yusuf, where Prophet Ya‘qub (عليه السلام) exercised his own form of beautiful patience. He continued to grieve and weep until the light of his eyes was lost.

Allah says in Quran 12:84

وَتَوَلَّىٰ عَنْهُمْ وَقَالَ يَٰٓأَسَفَىٰ عَلَىٰ يُوسُفَ وَٱبْيَضَّتْ عَيْنَاهُ مِنَ ٱلْحُزْنِ فَهُوَ كَظِيمٌ

“And he turned away from them and said, ‘Oh, my sorrow over Joseph!’ And his eyes became white from grief, for he was a suppressor of grief.”

So, his patience was not necessarily identical to another person's patience. His situation, his strength, his relationship with Allah, and his own human experience were different.

Let us understand this through an example.

Imagine there are three children sitting in front of you, and there are three chocolates in front of them.

You tell them:

“Whoever sits quietly for 30 minutes will receive the chocolate in front of them, along with another reward.”

Now, imagine what happens.

The first child takes the chocolate that is already in front of him after only five minutes and eats it.

The second child, after ten minutes, asks:

“Can I have this?”

He asks from his own side. He requests it. He is trying his best.

And then there is a third child who exercises patience for the entire 30 minutes. At the end of the 30 minutes, he receives the chocolate as well as the additional reward.

But there is an important question here:

All three children tried to resist in their own way. So which one demonstrated Ṣabran Jamīlan?

Can we identify it?

Absolutely not.

Because the knowledge belongs only to Allah, and the final judgment of what was truly beautiful patience will be made on the Day of Judgment.

Notice that the Qur’an says:

صَبْرًا جَمِيلًا — Ṣabran Jamīlan

It does not say the perfect patience.

It does not say the complete patience.

It says beautiful patience.

So, you need to try your best according to your strength.

And if you believe that you have the strength to exercise what, according to your own capacity, is a more complete or perfect form of patience, then that may be your Ṣabran Jamīlan.

The beauty of patience is therefore not something we can simply measure from the outside.

What appears small to one person may have required enormous strength from another.

What appears like complete patience in one person may not be the same standard for another.

Ultimately, Allah alone knows the strength, struggle, intention, and inner state of every person.

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Have you ever wondered how Allah will remove غِلّ (ghill) from the hearts of people in Paradise?

Have you ever thought about why you feel uncomfortable around a certain person, even though you have no enmity toward them and you are secure in yourself? Yet, you still feel uncomfortable talking to them, or you simply do not feel comfortable around them.

What is it that does not allow you to come close to them?

Let’s go into detail about this.

You may have seen someone doing something bad, and because of that, you no longer like that person. So, you choose to keep your distance from them.

Someone may have bullied you. They may even apologize to you, and you may forgive them. But then you still tell them, “It’s okay, but stay away from me.”

You may also feel hasad toward someone. Perhaps you feel that you are more deserving than they are.

All of these things are forms of غِلّ (ghill).

It can mean:

Rancour, malice, deep-seated grudge, or resentment.

The reason behind it can be anything. But what is interesting is: why does it not completely disappear in this world, and why will Allah remove it from your heart only in the Hereafter?

Allah says in the Qur’an:

Surah Al-A‘raf 7:43

وَنَزَعۡنَا مَا فِىۡ صُدُوۡرِهِمۡ مِّنۡ غِلٍّ

«“And We will remove whatever is within their breasts of rancor [or resentment].”»

Now, if you observe it carefully, this غِلّ is not simply a feeling that makes you uncomfortable.

Sometimes, you try very hard to let go. You become tired from resisting this feeling, but you still cannot help it.

Why?

Because you are forcing yourself to forget the memory.

And the more you force that memory away, the more it keeps hurting you—like a thorn stuck inside your heart.

This is why you may feel that your heart is heavy whenever you think about a particular person.

Why?

Because there is some kind of memory between you and that person that has hurt you.

You may even forgive that person, but the memory is still there in your mind.

And that memory remains like a thorn stuck inside your heart.

Now imagine someone removes that thorn from your heart.

What would happen?

You would forget the pain and the suffering.

And whatever feeling you had against that person would disappear, because the memory has been restored.

This is so beautiful: Allah explains it in this way because He is

 ٱلْجَبَّارُ — Al-Jabbār.

 The Compeller, The Restorer.

Your heart becomes new again, just as you were when you were born: pure, beautiful, innocent, and free from hatred, bitterness, and every harsh feeling that life may have placed within you.

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👉THE SECRET MEANING OF GARDENS BENEATH WHICH RIVERS FLOW

You may have experienced this many times: while watching a love story in a movie or video, you suddenly feel triggered. Or perhaps a video brings something buried within you to the surface, your trauma, your past mistakes, or something from your past. And when that happens, you simply skip the video.

Have you ever thought about why this happens?

We will look for the answer to this question later. First, let us turn toward the Qur’an and Surah Al-Baqarah.

Why does it feel so difficult?

And why does Shaytan flee from it?

Why does this Surah expose Shaytan? 

It tells us how he creates traps, how he gives human beings false hopes, and how he gradually leads them toward different sins.

And when Shaytan is exposed like this, a mirror appears in front of you

a mirror that shows you the Shaytan within yourself.

And when that happens, you run away.

You feel uncomfortable. You experience pain when you see manipulation being exposed. You may even begin to feel ashamed. And to protect yourself from that discomfort, you start running away from the Qur’an.

Surah Al-Baqarah is also quite long, and many people start reading the Qur’an but cannot reach the end.

Perhaps you opened the Qur’an seeking guidance and advice, and maybe even reward. Or perhaps you opened it after being hurt by life again and again.

But as soon as you begin, a mirror is placed in front of you.

You get triggered.

It makes you uncomfortable.

You want reassurance, but instead, it tells you:

Fix yourself.

It begins challenging your insecurities.

You may have seen two very famous pictures on the internet:

1. 

One shows a bald sweeper looking at himself in a mirror, while he has placed a broom behind his head, creating the illusion that he has hair.

2. 

Another shows a pawn looking into a mirror, while in the mirror he sees himself as a king.

There are many such pictures that reveal human insecurities and hidden dreams that consume them.

But this Surah breaks that illusion.

It takes away your false comfort and asks you to face reality.

Is it taking away your happiness?

No.

That is a lie.

You have to achieve all of this through effort, not through illusion.

And a person begins to work hard when they become aware of their own shortcomings.

That is why, before anything else, acceptance is needed—and this is what this Surah triggers within you.

And this trigger initiates change inside you.

That change then takes you in the right direction.

This is why Shaytan flees from this Surah.

And that is why Surah Al-Baqarah is hard to read.

Now, Let’s Go Back to the Video Question

This is the same reason why many love stories mirror your own story.

That story exposes your mistakes.

And something that you once believed was completely right can suddenly become painful when you see it reflected back at you.

You cannot continue watching the video.

Why?

Because here, too, there is a lack of acceptance.

You are not necessarily running away from the story.

You may actually be running away from the mirror that the story has placed in front of you.

That’s why acceptance makes a change.

And then you begin working against Shaytan.

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               👉   THE SECRET MEANING OF ALLAH’S NAME AL-ADL

Qur’an 39:29 : The Example Allah Gives Us

In Surah Az-Zumar,  Qur’an 39:29

Allah Almighty presents a powerful example:

ضَرَبَ اللّٰهُ مَثَلاً رَّجُلاً فِيۡهِ شُرَكَآءُ مُتَشٰكِسُوۡنَ وَرَجُلاً سَلَمًا لِّرَجُلٍؕ هَلۡ يَسۡتَوِيٰنِ مَثَلاً   ‌ؕ الۡحَمۡدُ لِلّٰهِ ‌ۚ بَلۡ اَكۡثَرُهُمۡ لَا يَعۡلَمُوۡنَ‏ 

“Allah sets forth an example: a man belonging to several partners who are at odds with one another, and a man belonging entirely to one master. Are the two equal in comparison? All praise belongs to Allah, but most of them do not know.”

The immediate meaning of this verse is about the contrast between Shirk and Tawheed: a person divided between conflicting masters cannot be like one who belongs entirely to a single master.

But this powerful Qur’anic example also invites us to look at something closer to home: what happens inside a person who already believes in one Allah?

A Muslim may have only one God, yet his inner world can still become divided.

This is where the verse can become a profound Quranic Psychology reflection on the human struggle with desires, impulses, and competing motivations.

The Modern Human: 

One God, But Many Inner Masters

A person may say that Allah is his only Lord, yet at different moments, different desires can begin demanding control over his decisions.

One desire says:

“Do what feels good.”

Another says:

“Choose what benefits you.”

Another says:

“Follow your anger.”

Another says:

“You need people’s approval.”

Another says:

“Take this temptation now; think about the consequences later.”

The problem is not that human beings have desires. Desire itself is part of human nature.

The deeper question is:

Who gets the final authority over those desires?

When Desire Becomes the Master

If a person simply follows every desire that becomes strong enough, his inner life can become divided.

Today he follows pleasure.
Tomorrow he follows anger.
The next day he follows approval, status, comfort, or temptation.

His desires keep changing, and so does the direction of his life.

He may still believe in Allah, but whenever a desire becomes the final decision-maker, he has allowed something within himself to compete for authority over his choices.

The Muslim Who Makes Allah the Measure

Now consider a different kind of Muslim.

He also has desires. He also becomes weak. He can make mistakes, fall into sin, and sometimes follow his impulses.

But there is one fundamental difference:

His ultimate desire is to please Allah.

When a new desire appears, he does not automatically obey it. He places it against the boundaries Allah has established.

He asks:

“Is Allah pleased with this?”

If it is permissible, he may pursue it.

If it crosses Allah’s limits, he learns to leave it—even when he strongly wants it.

This does not mean he never struggles.

It means that his desires are no longer the final authority.

Falling Does Not Mean Surrender

Such a person may still fall.

He may become weak.
He may make the wrong choice.
He may follow a desire he should have resisted.

But when he recognizes his mistake, he turns back to Allah through Tawbah.

His failure does not become his master.

He returns.

And that return is itself part of the struggle to bring the self back under the guidance of Allah.

Are the Two Equal?

This brings us back to the question Allah asks:

“Are the two equal?”

The verse originally establishes the difference between the one divided among conflicting masters and the one devoted entirely to one master.

As a Quranic Psychology reflection, it also makes us examine our own inner direction:

Are we allowing every desire to pull us wherever it wants?

Or have we made Allah the ultimate measure by which we judge our desires, choices, and actions?

True freedom is not having no limits.

It is no longer being a slave to every desire that demands your attention.

When Allah becomes the highest authority in a person's life, his desires may still exist—but they no longer have the final word.

Often, this question is asked:

If Allah has already written a person's rizq, then why should they make an effort?

Indeed, rizq does not come through effort; it comes through the mercy of Allah.

So then, why should we make an effort?

When we search for the answer to this question, we begin to understand something deeper.

When a person makes an effort, they are actually expressing their desire. They are expressing their longing toward something.

For example, if a person wants a watch, they make an effort to obtain it. And after making that effort, they pray to Allah:

“O Allah, place blessing in this effort of mine and grant it success.”

So Allah sees that person's desire, longing, and effort.

We can call this act Amal. (Effort)

And then comes the intention behind that Amal.

Suppose a person desires a watch. They have made the effort to obtain it, but behind that effort there was only one intention:

“After I get this watch, I will show it off to people, look down upon others, and make fun of them.”

In such a situation, Allah may protect that person by making their intention pure first, so that the watch is given to them at a time when it does not become a trial for them.

Because Allah loves you.

And your own intention may be hidden from you.

You can see the longing, but the evil within that longing—the thing that Shaytan could use against you—may not be visible to you.

This is why effort is necessary to obtain anything.

For example, if a person intends to commit an immoral act, will everything happen simply because they thought about it?

They would first have to search for someone through whom they could commit that immoral act.

So, in this act, did they not use effort?

Of course they did.

Then effort is also necessary when doing any good deed.

Why?

Because Allah has given an indication regarding this in the Qur'an.

Qur'an Surah An-Nisa (4:104)

وَلَا تَهِنُوۡا فِىۡ ابۡتِغَآءِ الۡقَوۡمِ‌ؕ اِنۡ تَكُوۡنُوۡا تَاۡلَمُوۡنَ فَاِنَّهُمۡ يَاۡلَمُوۡنَ كَمَا تَاۡلَمُوۡنَ‌ۚ وَتَرۡجُوۡنَ مِنَ اللّٰهِ مَا لَا يَرۡجُوۡنَ‌ؕ وَكَانَ اللّٰهُ عَلِيۡمًا حَكِيۡمًا 

«“And do not weaken in pursuit of the enemy. If you should be suffering—so are they suffering as you are suffering, but you expect from Allah that which they expect not. And Allah is ever Knowing and Wise.”»

The verse shows that hardship and effort are part of the path, while the believer's hope in Allah gives that effort a different meaning. In its immediate context, the verse is speaking about pursuing the enemy, but it highlights the distinction between enduring hardship and having hope in Allah.

From this, we can understand that every person needs effort for their rizq and for accomplishing any task, whether that effort is directed toward something right or something wrong.

Yes, a wrong action may appear easier.

Perhaps because human ego and pleasure are involved in it, it may feel easy because the person is doing all of this for their own satisfaction.

But when a person wants to do the right thing only to please Allah, and their nafs is against them, it will naturally feel difficult.

This is why it is the nafs itself that says:

“If it is already written in my destiny, then why should I make an effort?”

While another person may be making an effort simply to please Allah—and may eventually achieve success.

And now another question arises.

Suppose someone says to you:

“I love you.”

But there is zero Amal (effort) to prove that love.

Would you like or accept such a thing?

In the same way, our effort is a proof of our love for Allah.

A desire arises inside a person.

They say:

“I will fulfill this desire, but within the limits created by Allah, and I will make an effort for it.”

This itself is a proof of loyalty and love for Allah.

If you want to understand Why Do We Repeat the Same Sins?

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👉 WHY DO WE REPEAT THE SAME SINS? HOW TO BREAK THE CYCLE | ISLAMIC SPIRITUALITY, NAFS & INĀBAH

What Is Trauma?

What if the pain you never healed becomes the pain you give to someone else?

Trauma is a deeply distressing or life-threatening event that overwhelms your nervous system and your ability to cope.

In life, many events happen that you may not be able to process normally. Sometimes, an experience stays deeply rooted in your memories and senses. Sometimes, it even becomes an unfulfilled longing.

A trigger may make you repeat the same pain with others, or make you avoid that experience completely and distance yourself from people.

You may not be able to control everything you feel, but you can learn to reduce its impact.

Now let us see how Islam teaches you to break this cycle through the life of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ.

The Prophet ﷺ and the Experience of Loss

To understand this, you have to look at the life of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ.

His father passed away before he was born. Then his mother passed away, followed by his grandfather, and eventually his beloved uncle.

He ﷺ knew what it meant to grow up without a father. And when a child sees others receiving the love and protection of their fathers, a natural longing can arise:

“I wish I had that love too.”

He ﷺ remained patient, but patience does not mean that the heart never feels pain.

Then, when the revelation was temporarily interrupted, the Prophet ﷺbecame deeply concerned. And Allah reassured him:

Surah Ad-Duha — 93:6–11

أَلَمْ يَجِدْكَ يَتِيمًا فَآوَىٰ ۝٦

وَوَجَدَكَ ضَالًّا فَهَدَىٰ ۝٧

وَوَجَدَكَ عَائِلًا فَأَغْنَىٰ ۝٨

فَأَمَّا الْيَتِيمَ فَلَا تَقْهَرْ ۝٩

وَأَمَّا السَّائِلَ فَلَا تَنْهَرْ ۝١٠

وَأَمَّا بِنِعْمَةِ رَبِّكَ فَحَدِّثْ ۝١١

“Did He not find you an orphan and give you refuge?

And He found you lost and guided you,

And He found you poor and made you self-sufficient.

So as for the orphan, do not oppress him.

And as for the petitioner, do not repel him.

And as for the favor of your Lord, report it.”

These verses reveal something deeply powerful: Allah reminded the Prophet ﷺ of what he had been through and then taught him not to let his pain become a reason to hurt someone else.

You were an orphan, so do not oppress the orphan.

You knew vulnerability, so do not become the source of another person’s vulnerability.

This is how a toxic cycle is broken.

You do not have to pass your pain forward simply because it was once passed to you.

Sometimes, breaking that cycle means letting go of what your heart has carried for years. It requires patience, forgiveness, healing, and turning toward Allah.

Your pain may explain what happened to you, but it does not have to decide what you become.

Because without Allah’s help, true transformation is impossible.

If you want to understand Why Do We Repeat the Same Sins?

Read this article.

👉 WHY DO WE REPEAT THE SAME SINS? HOW TO BREAK THE CYCLE | ISLAMIC SPIRITUALITY, NAFS & INĀBAH